Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
