I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
