don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
