SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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