i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
