Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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