Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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