another moral hangover. fuck.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
