I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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