..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
you inspire me to be a worse person
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
