I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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