Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
