I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
