Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
