wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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