...so i touched it.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
