Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
