Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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