I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
