She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
did you just send me my own nude
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
