The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
