and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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