My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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