apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm getting married
To pizza
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
