arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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