Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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