Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
it wasn't lemon gatorade
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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