ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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