Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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