Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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