so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
