you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
