just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Damn victory sex feels great
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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