i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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