If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
