"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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