Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
