boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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