The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
