what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
ttyl tear gas
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
