if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
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