mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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