Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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