I love black thongs
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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