I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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