I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
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