Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
