She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
