u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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