ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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