Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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