just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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