There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
