He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
