if i can run in heels then i can drive
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
