she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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