and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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