I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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