just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I believe in your delicious
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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