I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Hippo gnu deer
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
