Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
How external is "for external use only"?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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