Having a random hookup so left but love u
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
